Build Bridges

Not Walls

Communication in its basic form, is a method of relaying information. Communication can be either destructive or constructive depending on the delivery. Poor communication can ruin marriages, destroy friendships, and erode business relationships.

We may feel hurt by what someone has said. Instead of taking the time to process the words of another, we often just react with pure emotion - throwing an emotional brick back in their face. 

Those bricks soon construct an insurmountable wall. 

When possible, in interpersonal communication, think your responses through first. Allow yourself to really understand what was said to you. Ask clarifying questions if need be. Try to see the situation from their perspective. Weigh the benefits versus the repercussions of your response. Examine your motive, are you seeking resolution or just retaliating from an offense.

Choose to respond in a way that fosters a better relationship with that person and works towards forward progress. 

Next time you throw out a brick - make sure it is used to build a bridge rather than fortify a wall. 

Originally blogged 2/29/12

Rescue Me Syndrome

Animals need to be rescued - PEOPLE do not!

Often insecure women end up in dysfunctional relationships because they form relationships with people who themselves are:

• In a "bad marriage"
• Insecure - who have been abused themselves as a child
• Who are looking for someone to take care of them
• Abusers 
• Narcissistic Manipulators

Relationships are mutually enhancing situations that benefit the two individuals on the overall. They should not be one side, dominated by one individual, or serving the good of one at the expense of the other. 

Learning how to have HEALTHY Relationships is one of the greatest accomplishments in life and one that can serve to benefit you and others the most. 

‡SAVE YOURSELF FIRST‡

Cesspool of the Soul

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ABUSE

Abuse during childhood tends to settle into our soul rotting it to the bottom, forming a thin layer of disgust on top, soon becoming a cesspool.

Cleaning out a cesspool is no easy task.  Regardless of how bad the cesspool smelled before, skimming off the muck on top always makes the stench worse, some would say unbearable. After the scum on top has been cleared, the water has to be cleaned and begin flowing so it will not stagnate again.

Facing and Purging the memories of childhood abuse is cleansing the cesspool of the soul.

It is not an easy or a pleasant process. Often we are not able to face the shame and pain until the perpetrator is no longer a part of our lives or try to cover the pain and stench with substance or self abuse. For many, living with the stench is more tolerable than facing the memories and reliving the pain; but it is vital to face them in order to once and for all cleanse the memories and trauma.

The unhealed pain of childhood abuse is a poison to our soul that seeps into our relationships, our parenting, and our emotional well being.

If you can bear it - face your past - your pain - and once and for all leave them behind

HAPPIER  ◊  HEALTHIER  ◊  BETTER
first blogged 11/24/12

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RESPECT!

So often these days, I see young women that have no respect for themselves. They degrade themselves in public, claiming shock value or independence. It seems the mentality of many women, that if they degrade or victimize themselves before anyone else can - that somehow gives them power.

In actuality, it just gives away pieces of yourself and grants others the permission to treat you with less respect than you deserve. This leads to poor and unhealthy relationships, self worth issues and re-victimization.



If you don't respect yourself, how do you expect anyone else to.

Self worth is something that is not gained from other people or outside sources, rather it is cultivated from within. True self empowerment never comes from self deprecation.

Believe in your own Self Worth! 

•º•COMMAND RESPECT FROM YOURSELF
                    DEMAND RESPECT FROM OTHERSº•º