Cesspool of the Soul

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ABUSE

Abuse during childhood tends to settle into our soul rotting it to the bottom, forming a thin layer of disgust on top, soon becoming a cesspool.

Cleaning out a cesspool is no easy task.  Regardless of how bad the cesspool smelled before, skimming off the muck on top always makes the stench worse, some would say unbearable. After the scum on top has been cleared, the water has to be cleaned and begin flowing so it will not stagnate again.

Facing and Purging the memories of childhood abuse is cleansing the cesspool of the soul.

It is not an easy or a pleasant process. Often we are not able to face the shame and pain until the perpetrator is no longer a part of our lives or try to cover the pain and stench with substance or self abuse. For many, living with the stench is more tolerable than facing the memories and reliving the pain; but it is vital to face them in order to once and for all cleanse the memories and trauma.

The unhealed pain of childhood abuse is a poison to our soul that seeps into our relationships, our parenting, and our emotional well being.

If you can bear it - face your past - your pain - and once and for all leave them behind

HAPPIER  ◊  HEALTHIER  ◊  BETTER
first blogged 11/24/12

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True Grit

I come from a long line of gritty women.


My Great Grandmother and Grandmother were out there on the ranch and in the truck stop working right along side the men and didn't, "take nothing off of nobody." My mother put herself through law school while struggling to take care of us. I have strong willed aunts and cousins and nieces.  Being an independent, determined woman who wasn't afraid to forge her own way was nothing new to me; on the contrary, I was predisposed to it.

What You SEE You can CONCEIVE and ACHIEVE

Women who have positive role models growing up are more likely to achieve success in life. When they see strong women whose opinions matter at work and in marriage, that is the kind of relationships they will strive for as well. 

On the converse, if they grow up seeing a woman who is hit at home or otherwise mistreated; they are statistically going to recreate the same situation in their own life:

• Daughters of abused women are six times more likely to be sexually abused as girls from non-abusive families.
• Child victims of severe violence have two to four times higher rates of trouble-making friends, temper tantrums, failing grades in school, having problems in school and at home.
• Abused children are arrested by the police four times more often than nonabused children.

Regardless of whether you are an Investment Banker on Wall Street or a Stay at Home Mom in Bowling Green Kentucky, you are your children's first role model. 

How you allow other people to treat you and how much you contribute back to society will mold the kind of woman your daughter or kind of man your son becomes. 

Never Doubt Your Impact - Especially on the Youth in your Life! 

Sandi in my daughters eyes cover by sabrillo

Wait until Your Father gets Home

Women in Leadership Positions are often labelled as being stern, demanding, or are called the B word. A male leader can give a subordinate direction or correction and it is often not even blinked at - just business as usual.

So Why is that? 
My Theory:        
1) In this generation and culture, most individuals where raised with the Father being the disciplinarian in the home. Many mothers would defer any corrective action until the father was able to direct it.

2) Often when Mothers did reprimand a child - the child felt like they had disappointed their mother.

So bottomline -  People tend to take things more personally when conveyed to them by a woman.

So keeping this in mind, do a little trial and error. Develop a personal communication style that is going to be most effective for you to ensure your message is being received properly, while still maintaining your Own Personality! 
                                                                        
Sami - Love You Like A Love Song (Selena Gomez Cover) by Farid Casablancas